Better Left Unsaid
by muskiqueers
Summary: Harry Potter was as ordinary as any other boy in his year, at least he thought so anyways. He was finally happy, life was finally going his way when he returned to Hogwarts for his third year. Then things changed. Some things are better left unsaid. Some are meant to be said. There's a thin line between the two.
1. Chapter One - The Beginning Of Our Story

A/N: Hi! This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction, so don't be too hard on me lol. I'm writing from my own experiences with my transness and dysphoria, so this isn't written by someone who doesn't understand either of them.

CHAPTER ONE

"Harry, come downstairs! Breakfast is ready!"

He blearily rubbed at his eyes as he woke from a deep sleep. He rolled over and was greeted by the sun shining just right into his overly-sensitive eyes. Throwing his hand over his face, he blindly reached for his duvet to replace his hand as a cover.

"I'll be down in a moment," he answered as the duvet finally shielded his eyes from the harsh sun. He sat there for a moment, hearing his mum rustling for dishes to set the table downstairs as he finally worked up the courage to reach for his glasses on his bedside table. His glasses found their resting place and he slowly sat up, the duvet falling off of his head, leaving his hair even more askew than usual.

The room was messy, as it usually was, and to even get to his dresser, he had to be extra careful of bits and bobs lying around. He had a small afterthought to clean after breakfast but he doubted it would happen. It never did. His mum used to nag him constantly to clean his room, back before she had given up on him being any sort of non-stereotypical teenaged boy.

After a bit of tip-toeing, he'd finally made it to his dresser and started his morning routine. _It consists of a little more than a normal teenaged boy's routine usually would_, he thought as he pulled his binder over his head and shoulders, but Harry didn't like to think that he was to different from everyone else. He was just Harry.

He'd always known he was Harry, even before that was his name. It was one of those gut feelings you hear about in those muggle movies where it just made everything feel right and there was a happy ending. He hadn't gotten that happy ending just yet, so he couldn't wait to turn 14 this summer. But no matter how fast he wished time would pass, he was still just a Third Year on his Easter holiday.

Once he felt he was put together with a presentable outfit, he made his way through the maze of things in his room to the door and down the stairs right outside. He had stopped hearing clanging on the glass while he was getting dressed so he'd assumed his mother was done setting up breakfast. He peeked in though the living room archway on his way to the dining room and saw his father and his twin little sisters, Acacia and Briar, playing with their newest baby dolls, a small birthday gift from his parents.

They had just turned four on the first day he had arrived home from Hogwarts and their birthday party was the first time he had seen his Uncle Remus outside of school and, therefore, was free to not call him professor. His Uncle Sirius had gotten a kick out of his husband being called professor by accident and had taken to calling him Professor Moony for the remainder of the event. His uncles were weird, but he loved them and he didn't have any other aunts or uncles (except the ones on his mum's side that they really didn't talk to), so he supposed he was stuck with them.

Harry must have stood there a second too long as his dad noticed him standing in the doorway and beckoned him over to lend a hand with his sisters.

Acacia and Briar looked when they saw their dad wave Harry over and they both squealed with delight at seeing their older brother for the first time that day.

"Harry! Harry! We missed you while you were sleepin'! Dad said we couldn't wake you up, so we's have to wait but we wanted to jump on you to wake you up!" said Acacia as she ran straight into Harry's long, knobbly-kneed legs and hugged as tight as her little arms could. Briar followed soon after.

He started trying to walk, struggling with the weight of two small children attached to his legs, and just as his face started turning red with the effort of it, his dad took pity on him and lifted Briar up onto his hip and held out his arm to Acacia to get her to let go.

Both of his sisters got used to the idea of having a brother instead of a sister rather quickly. Their mum had explained to them that Harry was now their brother instead of their sister and they immediately made the switch with his name and using his pronouns. It was hard to believe that small children had an easier time with his transition than most of the kids at school.

Harry had told his mum and dad about him the summer after second year, just after his thirteenth birthday. He couldn't take being thought of as a girl anymore. The thought of going back to Hogwarts as a girl made him feel physically sick and it was driving him insane thinking about it over and over and over again. Once he told his parents, it felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders and he could finally breathe again.

They didn't take it that well at first and they had fought for about a week before Harry broke down in front of them, trying to convince them to at least change his name with Hogwarts so that he could go back, be in the correct dorms, and called the correct name in his classes. Lily and James, finally seeing how badly their son needed their help and love, picked him up and help him until he had cried himself to sleep at the end of the night. They put him to bed in his room and immediately went to work.

Their son's happiness was their priority and they realized that they were causing him nothing but strife by not helping him. They ended up flooing Sirius and Remus to come watch the children while they sprung into action. Their first order of business was changing his name and sex on all of his documents (they had to wake up their barrister to get everything to go through because by the time they had started all of this, it was two in the morning), the next was writing out letters to friends and family (Yes, even Petunia, though the letter was returned unopened) telling them of the change in reference to their son and how to address him from now on. The final task was to request information from Saint Mungo's on what more they needed to do for Harry. They had also scheduled him an appointment for the day after next.

This had taken them hours to do, digging through old paperwork to do the aforementioned, and then old magic grimoires to find a spell to recognize Harry as a first-born male heir to the Potter family. They didn't subscribe to pureblood bigotry obviously (Lily was a Muggleborn), but still recognized that blood status could be important to Harry and their girls, so they made sure that they could claim their birthrights when needed. Finding it was more difficult than they thought it would be, but eventually they found something in the Black family library that Sirius had given them permission to raid. It took a bit of finagling to get it to work, but with all of Harry's documents fixed, and Harry's state of being, the family magic easily grasped what they were trying to achieve. Harry was officially their firstborn (and only) son, the heir to the Potter family.

They let their newly-minted son sleep half the day away as they took Pepperup Potion to stay awake (and keep up with Acacia and Briar) and tidy up loose ends with all of their own paperwork, revising wills and the like. At around noon, they finally woke Harry with a surprise brunch in bed and a new birth certificate that read Henry James Potter. They had decided to derive his new name from the old, Henry coming from Harry's great-grandfather, who once sat on the Wizengamot (and was called Harry by his closest friends), and James for his father, as the naming tradition goes in the Wizarding world.

Soon after that fateful night and the news the next day had brought him, Harry began the process of changing his body to better fit who he was on the inside with a little help from his favorite healer from Saint Mungo's, Healer Calix Parrish. Healer Parrish was just like Harry; crazy hair, funny glasses, and—most importantly—he understood what Harry was going through. He prescribed special potions for Harry that would stop his natal puberty, and at the same time, start his male puberty instead.

And so, Henry James Potter had set off to Hogwarts for his third year, as the proper boy he always knew he was, excited for the rest of his Hogwarts career for the first time since he'd gotten his acceptance letter.

A/N: Tell me what you think! Would you like more? Let me know! Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter Two - The Hogwarts Express

A/N: Hey! I'm so sorry that I forgot this story existed! Whilst we're all going through these crazy times, I was exploring my Google Docs and found this second chapter. I'm now working on the third as I write this! Hope you all enjoy!

CHAPTER TWO - THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS

Harry was a bit wary at first of how well things were going with everything, but as soon as he had boarded the Hogwarts Express, his previous thoughts of ease were quickly stomped on and thrown far, far away.

The first words he heard as he walked down the narrow hallway of the train, trying to find his fellow Slytherins, were "Hey, Potter! I heard you're a he-she now!" from the ever-so-eloquent Ron Weasley. Harry grimaced and turned around, wiping all emotion from his face before facing his biggest bully.

Ron Weasley and his friends, Seamus and Dean, were the bane of Harry's existence. He had known Ron since they were very young, Mrs. Weasley babysat him when he was younger and Harry had taken an immediate liking to Fred and George, Ron's twin older brothers. Ron hadn't liked that at all and had made it his life mission when he was six years old to make Harry's life miserable.

"You're really not that clever, are you?" Harry asked the redhead, rolling his eyes as he opened up the compartment door. He rolled his trunk into the compartment and greeted Draco, Pansy, and Blaise warmly. Ron sputtered as he took up a position in the doorway, Seamus and Dean behind him.

"Well, at least I'm not a freak like you!"

"Nothing about me is a freak, Weasley. At least I have real friends who like me, instead of having lackeys who are afraid of me," Harry glanced at Seamus and Dean as he sat down between Pansy and Draco, both of them glaring at the red-headed intruder and his "friends".

Ron sputtered once again, turning his face almost as red as his hair. He stepped out of the doorway of the compartment and slammed the door shut. They could hear him still as he yelled at the other Gryffindor boys, "Bloody Potter, I can't believe that it thinks it can get away with trying to fool everyone. I'll make sure it regrets this."

Harry turned to Pansy with tears in his eyes, "I thought no one would even care, I just want to be me." Pansy took pity on him, looking at the door to see if anyone was looking, and took him into her arms. Draco gave her a look, which she returned tenfold, and he reluctantly placed a hand on his friend's back and patted awkwardly. Harry let out a small sob, and Draco gave Pansy a look that said _What am I supposed to do?_ as he continued patting Harry's back.

"Hey, Harry," Pansy whispered, as she pulled back from their embrace, "I'm going to go talk to Draco in the hallway, okay? I want you to keep Blaise company while we're out, we all know he doesn't do much without the three of us." She looked at Blaise with a teasing look, and Blaise gave her back a face that could have made his grandmother cry.

Pansy grabbed Draco's arm and dragged him into the corridor, shutting the compartment door as gently as possible, not wanting to disturb Harry.

"You have got to learn how to be a real human being sometimes. I know your father messed you up when you were younger, but I thought that with him in Azkaban and your mom remarried, you might have figured out how to do that by now."

Draco's face dropped. He leaned against the compartment's door, covering the window.

"I'm sorry that I'm so bloody screwed up, Pansy! I'm trying to keep up with everything now and even learning how to show my emotions in the dungeons, but it's hard to do that after a summer of avoiding my still emotionally-stunted family." Draco looked exasperated, and he gesticulated wildly with his hands as he spoke. Pansy grabbed them out of the air and held them at his sides.

"What you need to do right now is be there for Harry. He's got a lot going on and he's going to need all the support we can give him right now," said Pansy.

"And you don't think I know that?" asked Draco indignantly. He took his hands from Pansy's grasp and raked his fingers through his hair. "I love Harry like he's my own brother, and we're technically related through the Blacks! I'm going to protect him to the best of my ability, and I'm sorry that I don't know exactly how to comfort someone."

Pansy looked appropriately apologetic as she said she was sorry. She hadn't thought about it that way and the look on Draco's face made her feel horrible about what she had said.

Just as she was about to apologize, a couple of rambunctious fifth year Ravenclaws had burst through the door of the compartment next to theirs, loudly interrupting Draco and Pansy's conversation. They all fell silent, and the Slytherins' faces quickly dropped into their emotionless masks. Draco opened the compartment door behind them and shuffled them both inside, leaving the Ravenclaws in the hall, thus ending their conversation.

Pansy gave Draco an apologetic look and sat down in her previous spot while Draco did the same. Harry looked up, dried tears marking his cheeks, with a quizzical look in his eyes.

"Are you guys okay? I thought I heard shouting."

Pansy started to respond, "We—"

"We just had to clarify about a bet we made this summer, we got a little heated but I won in the end," interrupted Draco, looking smug but giving Pansy a look as soon as Harry turned away. His face seemed to say "_Not now._"

She gave a slight nod of her head, and replied, "It was about if the youngest Weasley was still a tosser, and I was thinking maybe his brothers would shape him up, but apparently he's still an arse. Draco won a couple galleons off me."

Pansy played her part well, Slytherins were used to white lies.

"I'm going to use them to buy a load of sweets when the trolley comes around."

Harry grinned, his face lighting up for the first time since boarding the train, and Draco offered him his handkerchief. He thanked him and took his leave for the restroom.

Blaise and Draco hefted Harry's trunk into the overhead compartment while Pansy pulled her sleek, black hair into a neat ballerina's bun atop her head. They seemed to have a slight struggle getting Harry's trunk to fit, but after a bit of shoving, it seemed to slot into place. They turned to face Pansy, struggling to catch their breath.

"You boys think that only playing Quidditch will keep you in shape? Do you ever try to condition yourselves on the ground and not on a broom?" she ridiculed them, poking fun at them for the millionth time for being out of shape. They'd had the same conversation at least ten times a year, but it was always satisfying for Pansy to see their reactions on their faces.

"You always try to make that argument, but we still prevail every year in the Quidditch cup!" refuted Draco, while Blaise nodded enthusiastically.

The Italian still hadn't spoken since boarding the train. He hadn't spoken (or understood) much English when he arrived at Hogwarts for their first year, and so he was generally assumed to be quite quiet and stupid by the majority of the school. On the other hand, when with Draco, Pansy, and Harry, Blaise was a whole different person. His English had improved dramatically in the first year of their schooling, as had the rest of their little group's Italian as they helped him acclimate to the new language, plus he had a wicked sense of humour.

"Mum told me that this year was going to be the start of some really intense learning in preparations for our O.W.L.S." remarked Blaise, as Draco and him took their seats in the compartment. Still catching his breath, Draco hummed.

"Your mum is quite right, Blaise. My mum and step father said about the same. They really pressured me to pick wisely for my electives this year."

Pansy picked at her nails as the boys chatted about the electives they were taking that year. It seemed Blaise was taking Care of Magical Creatures and Divination, whilst Draco would be taking Care of Magical Creatures and Ancient Runes. Herself and Harry were taking the same courses as Draco, just adding Arithmancy into the mix. They were all pretty set on what career paths they wanted to take, and planning to add more courses when they got to their N.E.W.T. levels.

Pansy belonged to a Noble and Most Ancient House, and as such was expected to excel academically, as well as socially. She needed to make the correct connections to ensure that she would have a desirable marriage contract. Her family wasn't the only House that felt that way, she knew that Draco's parents at least felt the same. Her parents had been eyeing Draco for a prospective betrothal contract for the past year, ever since she had come home after her first year and endlessly speaking about him, their friends, and their adventures.

She hoped that if she and Draco were betrothed that he would let her pursue a career and not expect her to remain at home with any children they eventually had. She shook her head, shaking herself out of her thoughts. No thirteen year old girl should be worried about such things. These were things she shouldn't have to think about until after her fifteenth or sixteenth birthday but yet she was worried.

Draco and Blaise looked up when Harry reentered the compartment, looking relieved to see him. Harry sat next to Pansy and she looked up from where she had been staring off.

"Did you get lost on your way back from the loo?" teased Blaise. Draco laughed and Harry blushed slightly.

"No, I just got caught up talking with some of the Ravenclaws in our year. Did you know Padma and her sister got to spend their holiday at their grandmother and grandfather's home in India? I wish my father would take us to where he's from. It would be so cool to see India! They have so many different kinds of snakes there!"

And just like that, they all clicked back together. Four friends on their way to Hogwarts for their third year. Not expecting anything in the least, other than new classes of course.

How wrong they were.


End file.
